We all want to be the best we can be. Indeed, my work is all about helping people to do exactly that. But sometimes this striving for best can actually stall progress. We’re so obsessed with trying to reach a perfect place that we fail to notice the very good situation we find ourselves in.
There’s no such thing as perfect, and a drive to achieve it just stops us from noticing the great. We measure things against impossible standards, meaning that we fail to realise how good things are. This means that even the good stuff ends up being viewed with a negative lens. We’re always dissatisfied. It becomes something of a trap, as we can’t achieve our high standards and then feel frustrated. This causes us to get angry and beat ourselves up, which is not going to bring us towards happiness.
Having high standards is not the same thing as demanding perfection. You can want to do well without holding yourself to unrealistic and rigid rules that can never be achieved. Having goals that are so high that you can never reach them isn’t helpful, but harmful.
It often comes from a desire to impress others, and a need to show them how good you are. Yet not only are most people less severe judges than we are, but if we stop and assess things by moderate standards that reflect what we actually want, we may find that we’re doing just fine.
Instead, we have to recognise when good enough is good enough. When reaching a place of 90% is enough, instead of chasing the elusive 100%. It doesn’t mean that you’re underachieving. In fact you might do more – reaching 90% in a number of areas of your life is better than 100% in just one.
Voltaire once said ‘Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.’
He’s right.
Whilst sometimes not being satisfied can spur us on to do more and achieve better things, when it’s an all pervasive feeling that takes over your life, it’s dangerous and has a negative impact. Rather than moving us to a happy and positive place, it holds us back and stops us from recognising our successes. It makes us view our lives through a dark lens, failing to see the good.
Celebrating our wins is important. It fuels us on to achieve more because we’re buoyed by excitement and joy. It gives us the opportunity to acknowledge what has gone well, learn from it, and see how we can apply those lessons for the future. By working towards good standards rather than perfect, we can achieve brilliant things and enjoy the fruits of them.