Blog

Self care refers to any act that we deliberately do in order to better protect and preserve our mental, physical and emotional health. Self care is a vital component in helping us to lead happy and healthy lives, yet often we do not appreciate it’s value as a preventative strategy in safeguarding all aspects of our health.

A misconception of self care is that it is selfish to put ourselves first. Or that it’s all about face masks and massages/. In reality, the act of practising self care is one of the best things we can do for ourselves and others. It ensures we build and maintain a healthy relationship with ourselves, helping to evoke feelings of positivity and allowing us to better understand the importance of our worth and our needs. This allows us to be the best version of ourselves and do all the things we wish to do, in the best way possible.

In the recent decade, there has been a marked push in bringing the importance of self care to the forefront; reminding ourselves that we deserve to take time to look after our emotional, mental and physical needs.

Hypnotherapy or Neuro-Linguistic Programming can be an effective way of practicing self care as it helps us access a relaxed state of mind, process our thoughts and subconsciously problem solve. Particularly beneficial for our mental health, but also our emotional and physical, hypnotherapy/NLP gives us the opportunity to access our emotions and thoughts in a calm environment, soothing our worries and stresses.

It also helps us to speak to ourselves in the right way. Often we are self critical, and speak to ourselves in a way we would never consider with someone else. NLP in particular is a helpful way of reframing the language we use and the outlook we have of ourselves. It’s an attitude, as well as action.

The benefits of self care are limitless, but crucially, it enables us to live more meaningful lives in which we properly care for our bodies and minds life.

Come the spring and summertime, parents and students start to worry about exams. It’s no wonder, with so much pressure and outcomes riding on results. But a lot of that pressure can be alleviated if we start planning ahead.

Rather than panicking in May, it makes sense to think about developing the skills and attitudes needed for good performance a few months ahead of time. This will enable the young person to build up their habits and approach for exam success.

A lot of exam performance comes from confidence. The confidence that they know the content, the confidence that they can answer the questions, and the confidence that they can do their best. Being assured that they have the ability to do well will help them in the revision period and the exam room.

Having a mantra or phrase that they repeat to themselves can help remind them of their ability. It can be something as simple as ‘I can do this’ or ‘I am capable.’ This can help keep them calm and focused. If they find themselves becoming distressed, they can come back to the phrase.

Practice makes perfect, so having some sample tests or doing homework under exam conditions is a good way to enable children to get a sense of what they will be doing, and help them feel more comfortable with the situation. When circumstances are familiar, they produce less stress, which will help with performance.

Breaking down workload into manageable chunks stops it from being overwhelming. The earlier you are able to make this a habit, the better your child will be prepared. Rather than rushing to cram at the end of the year before the exam, they will have been adding to their knowledge bit by bit throughout the year.

Starting early is key to performing well. It is all about instilling the right approach and mindset before the exam period starts. That way lies success.

If you want to know more about my work with children and teenagers head to the Helping Kids UK website.

When our children start behaving differently, it can cause concern. They might be snappier, be spending more time in their bedroom, or have trouble sleeping. Children who are usually well behaved might start being naughty, or school grades begin to slip. As parents, we worry about these things. The child we know and the behaviour we are familiar with is changing, and we don’t know why.

Well meaning friends and family might attempt to ease your fears, saying things like ‘it’s just a phase’ or ‘he will grow out of it.’ Often they are right, and whilst most young people can overcome difficulties, sometimes they spiral into something bigger and more worrying.

So how do you know if it is just a phase, or if it’s time to take action? And what should you do about it?

Notice what’s normal

It’s really important to be familiar with what is normal for the child or young person in question. Unless you know what is usual, you can’t be aware of what is unusual. So noticing your child and paying attention to them, even when there’s nothing to worry about, is crucial to be able to address situations that do require worrying.

Pick up patterns

If something happens once or twice, it’s probably not a big issue. Problems come when a negative behaviour or action becomes a recurring pattern. Not only is it more damaging to every day life, the more we do something, the more ingrained it becomes, and so the habit is harder to get out of. If you notice something becoming more regular than irregular, and it’s having a detrimental effect on your child’s or family’s life, it’s time to take action.

Talk together

Speak to your young person. If you’re worried about your child or teenager, it’s important to connect and communicate with them. This isn’t about nagging or shouting, but engaging in a proper conversation, listening and speaking equally. How much you say and what you talk about obviously depends on the age and maturity of your child. What’s important is that you speak in a caring way, let them know that they can trust you, and listen to their answers.

Intervene gently

If you are worried about your child or teenager, it’s your job as a parent to do something about it. However, it’s important that you don’t inflame the situation any more by causing arguments or creating drama unnecessarily. Choose a time when you won’t be interrupted, sit down with them, and state your worries. Let them know that your worry comes from a place of love and concern, and that you are there to help them.

Have a plan

Even if you don’t know what to do or how to solve a situation, you have to instil confidence in your young person. Have some kind of plan, even if it’s just a case of sitting down each week together to have a chat about how things are going.

I support families by working with children, young people, and parents to develop the skills and tools to thrive in family life. If you would like to know more, please get in touch.