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Many children love animals. A playful being that they can care for, it’s not uncommon for young people to dote on pets. But sometimes anxiety or fear can develop, and animals become a perceived threat rather than a source of comfort.

Kate’s daughter Grace started to get more and more nervous around cats and dogs when she was 10 years old. She was scared to go round to people’s houses with pets and was always nervous when the family went out for walks in case they saw a cat or dog. There were streets she started to avoid because there were cats.

Although Kate was aware that there was a problem, it was one particular event that made her realise that Grace needed help. ‘She was walking round to a friend’s house one morning that was only a few minutes away and she got herself lost when she came across a cat at the corner of our street and decided to go another way rather than go past the cat or turn back to our house. She was missing for about ten minutes just because of a cat on the corner of the street. It was a very scary experience for Grace and me – I knew we had to find a solution. 

Sometimes exposure therapy is recommended. The idea is that eventually the fear will ebb away. Kate tried this, taking her to meet friendly dogs and new kittens, but nothing worked. ‘We took her round to meet a friend’s kitten, which did not work because the kitten as too playful and scared Grace even more. We introduced her to dogs owned by friends and neighbours but nothing made Grace feel relaxed. She could never stroke a dog even if the owner said it was super gentle – Grace was too scared.’ 

Kate knew that this fear, whilst not sensible, was not wholly irrational. It had roots. When Grace was three the family were out walking on Kew Green, and a black Labrador puppy jumped up on her and knocked her down. The puppy had been on a lead but the child holding the lead had not pulled the puppy back. This experience had led her to be worried that all animals could be unpredictable. The issue was that it was now having a negative impact on her day to day life and the family’s life, and her fears were transferring to her younger sister.

Javier spent two hours with Grace and made her a thirty minute recording for her to listen to every night for a few weeks. ‘I think she listened to it for about 2 months and then slowly stopped listening to it over time as we started to notice that she was not feeling as scared of cats and dogs,’ says Kate.  

‘It was noticeable within a month Grace did not flinch when a dog came near her in the park or passing her on the street. She agreed to hold rabbits and guinea pigs at a petting farm and more recently she has befriended a cat she sees on her way to school, and stops to stroke it every day. Now our girls are keen to get a puppy!’

Grace is now much more confident, and feels positive about her experience. ‘I think it was very good. The session with Javier was fun. The recording really helped. I really am much, much better around animals now I can actually stroke them and before I couldn’t even go near them.’

Today, November 13th, is World Kindness Day. We often think of kindness as something we do for others. Yet self kindness is hugely important. If we are not kind to ourselves, we can’t offer as much to the world. It’s not enough having self kindness quotes on the fridge – we have to practice it.

What is self kindness?

It’s not about feeling wonderful, or telling yourself that you are great. It’s simply about being decent to yourself, like you would anyone else in the world. When we’re kind or compassionate to ourselves, we treat ourselves in the same way we would treat a good friend. It’s about flipping the Biblical verse and often quoted maxim ‘do unto others as you would do unto your yourself’ on its head – behave towards yourself like you would anyone else.

It’s about saying that you’re worthwhile.

There’s no good that comes from self criticism or self flagellation. It holds us back, makes us feel unworthy, saddens us, and stops us from being the awesome people that we really are.

How can I practice self kindness activities?

So today, set yourself a goal to say kind words to yourself and do something kind for yourself. When you feel that negative voice criticising you or pulling your down, challenge it. ‘I’m rubbish’ becomes ‘I’m ok.’ ‘I don’t deserve to rest tonight’ becomes ‘I’m going to sit down and read for half an hour.’ If what you really want to do is call a friend, do it. Even making yourself a nice lunch or stretching out after a few hours at the computer are easy ways to be kind to yourself.

Of course, I hope that you continue to do this beyond World Kindness Day. Forming a healthy habit takes time, but if you start small, with little acts of kindness, you can change your life. Recognise your self-worth and acknowledge your value.

The Logical Levels of Change framework is one of the key parts of my work. Initially formulated by anthropologist Gregory Bateson, it is one of the main tenets of NLP and my coaching. I use them with my clients – but only because I know how powerful they are myself. They’ve helped me make changes in my life – changes for the better.

The framework consists of six different areas, or levels, that are present in your life. Each of these are areas in your life that you can make changes in. You have some level of control within each domain, and each domain affects your life in and of itself.

The six levels are:

Environment – your surroundings and the people and places that you are interacting with
Behaviour – your actions, behaviours, postures and movements
Capabilities – your talents, skills and abilities, and how you deal with situations and events
Beliefs and values – the things that you hold dear and believe to be important to you
Identity – your sense of self
Purpose – your why, mission and goal

You can also see a progression from where you do something and who with (environment), what you do (behaviour), how (capabilities) and why (beliefs & values) to who you are (identity) and who you do things for (purpose).

I describe the Logical Levels of Change framework as my personal compass and map. It provides me the destination, the path and what I need to get there. This model helps me identify and understand the different areas that play a part in the decisions I make, the behaviours I carry out and the energy that I place behind a project.

You might know where you want to be and the kind of life you want to live. That’s great! But you can only work out the route to get there when you know where you are right now. The Logical Levels of Change Model is very helpful in designing an action plan for change.

I encourage you to sit down with a pen and paper and make some notes on each of these areas. What matters to you most in each space? How do you spend your time? What makes you feel good? What stresses you out? What can you influence, and what is out of your sphere of control? How do you act in each area? What meaning do you place on a situation or action? How do you behave? How do you feel?

Ask yourself the simple questions of where, what, how, why and who?

Once you’ve got some ideas about where you are and what matters to you, you’re ready to make a change. Get in touch if you’d like to know more about how I can help you to do just that.

Hypnotherapy is a powerful way to access your inner runner, and improve your running skill. Thousands of sports people have recognised the power of their mental state having a positive effect on their sports performance – and you can too.

Motivate yourself to keep going and achieve your goals with this audio download specifically designed for running.

Listen to the audio before you go to bed, or when you have around twenty minutes of uninterrupted time. Do not listen to the recording when doing any dangerous activity like cycling or driving.

Repetition is fundamental, listen to this recording daily for at least three weeks. Some people might need more time to consolidate habits.

You can download the audio for free from the link below. Simply click on the down arrow on the top right corner.If you have any questions or want to know more, please get in touch!

Terms & Conditions

Hypnotherapy is a two-way process. Each client is unique and is treated as such. Clients differ greatly in their response to hypnosis. It is a learned skill. Therefore, each client may achieve a different level of success in attaining their goal. Therapies such as Hypnotherapy, CBT and NLP all rely on commitment and motivation from both the therapist and the client to get the best results. Part of the progress occurs in the consulting room and part is achieved through cognitive reflection or homework.

In common with other therapies it, and therefore I, cannot and do not offer a 100% success rate, or guarantee success. As the client, when you agree to undertake the sessions, you also agree to engage with the process. It is through this commitment in partnership that you will see the best results.

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If you’re curious about how life coaching can help you, the chances are that it will be able to impact your life. This is because you’re already embarking on making changes, even just thinking about them, and this is a hugely important step to help those changes become not just thoughts, but significant behavioural actions that will benefit you.

The role of a life coach is to help and empower you to make and achieve your goals. To do my job properly, I have to make myself redundant. You’ll go on to reach your potential and achieve your ambitions. These ambitions can be in any area of life – family, relationships, work, money, health and social. I’ll teach you strategies and techniques that you can use yourself to develop the knowledge, skill, confidence and motivation you need.

Life coaching is a supportive method of helping you to achieve your goals and live the life that you want to. We work together to identify the areas in your life that are causing you distress and the thoughts and actions that might be keeping you stuck. We then plan how to tackle them. Most of the work is around building confidence. Chances are that you already know what you want and the theory of how you might get there – you just need support to put it into practice.

Life coaching isn’t magic, but it can have magical effects. Simply by spending time together and focusing on the task in hand, we are able to make significant changes in a relatively short space of time. I’ll guide you to explore opportunities, help you to make changes and empower you to continue on the journey. Simply put, life coaching will help you by changing your life.