Blog

13 Nov 2017
World Kindness Day – be kind to yourself

Today, November 13th, is World Kindness Day. We often think of kindness as something we do for others. Yet self kindness is hugely important. If we are not kind to ourselves, we can’t offer as much to the world. It’s not enough having self kindness quotes on the fridge – we have to practice it.

What is self kindness?

It’s not about feeling wonderful, or telling yourself that you are great. It’s simply about being decent to yourself, like you would anyone else in the world. When we’re kind or compassionate to ourselves, we treat ourselves in the same way we would treat a good friend. It’s about flipping the Biblical verse and often quoted maxim ‘do unto others as you would do unto your yourself’ on its head – behave towards yourself like you would anyone else.

It’s about saying that you’re worthwhile.

There’s no good that comes from self criticism or self flagellation. It holds us back, makes us feel unworthy, saddens us, and stops us from being the awesome people that we really are.

How can I practice self kindness activities?

So today, set yourself a goal to say kind words to yourself and do something kind for yourself. When you feel that negative voice criticising you or pulling your down, challenge it. ‘I’m rubbish’ becomes ‘I’m ok.’ ‘I don’t deserve to rest tonight’ becomes ‘I’m going to sit down and read for half an hour.’ If what you really want to do is call a friend, do it. Even making yourself a nice lunch or stretching out after a few hours at the computer are easy ways to be kind to yourself.

Of course, I hope that you continue to do this beyond World Kindness Day. Forming a healthy habit takes time, but if you start small, with little acts of kindness, you can change your life. Recognise your self-worth and acknowledge your value.

05 Nov 2017
Logical Levels of Change

The Logical Levels of Change framework is one of the key parts of my work. Initially formulated by anthropologist Gregory Bateson, it is one of the main tenets of NLP and my coaching. I use them with my clients – but only because I know how powerful they are myself. They’ve helped me make changes in my life – changes for the better.

The framework consists of six different areas, or levels, that are present in your life. Each of these are areas in your life that you can make changes in. You have some level of control within each domain, and each domain affects your life in and of itself.

The six levels are:

Environment – your surroundings and the people and places that you are interacting with
Behaviour – your actions, behaviours, postures and movements
Capabilities – your talents, skills and abilities, and how you deal with situations and events
Beliefs and values – the things that you hold dear and believe to be important to you
Identity – your sense of self
Purpose – your why, mission and goal

You can also see a progression from where you do something and who with (environment), what you do (behaviour), how (capabilities) and why (beliefs & values) to who you are (identity) and who you do things for (purpose).

I describe the Logical Levels of Change framework as my personal compass and map. It provides me the destination, the path and what I need to get there. This model helps me identify and understand the different areas that play a part in the decisions I make, the behaviours I carry out and the energy that I place behind a project.

You might know where you want to be and the kind of life you want to live. That’s great! But you can only work out the route to get there when you know where you are right now. The Logical Levels of Change Model is very helpful in designing an action plan for change.

I encourage you to sit down with a pen and paper and make some notes on each of these areas. What matters to you most in each space? How do you spend your time? What makes you feel good? What stresses you out? What can you influence, and what is out of your sphere of control? How do you act in each area? What meaning do you place on a situation or action? How do you behave? How do you feel?

Ask yourself the simple questions of where, what, how, why and who?

Once you’ve got some ideas about where you are and what matters to you, you’re ready to make a change. Get in touch if you’d like to know more about how I can help you to do just that.

Study motivation audio – free download

We know that it’s not always easy to motivate ourselves to study. With increasing pressures on our young people at home, at school and in their social lives, sometimes homework and revision slips. It’s important to come to study with an open mind and willingness to learn. When young people want to learn and feel motivated to study their minds are open and ready to absorb information, create interesting connections, think innovatively – and crucially, enjoy the process. That’s why I’ve created this audio to help. Ideal for children and teenagers aged 10 to 16 years old, it covers four important aspects:

  • Preparing for the day ahead
  • Paying attention in class
  • Homework routine
  • Pride in their work and abilities

 

The audio is free to download until October 31st.

I recommend that children listen to the audio before they go to bed, or when they have around twenty minutes of uninterrupted time. They should not listen to the recording when doing any dangerous activity like cycling.

Repetition is fundamental, and young people should listen to this recording daily for at least three weeks. Some people might need more time to consolidate habits. The more often they can listen, the better the effect.

You can download the audio for free from the link below. Simply click on the down arrow on the top right corner.If you have any questions or want to know more, please get in touch!

What results can I expect?

This is a generic recording; it does not substitute the benefits of a personal full Rapid Transformation Therapy session but it can still provide a significant boost for the student’s motivation and work routine.

Hypnotherapy is a two-way process. Each client is unique and is treated as such. Clients differ greatly in their response to hypnosis. It is a learned skill. Therefore, each client may achieve a different level of success in attaining their goal. Therapies such as Hypnotherapy, CBT and NLP all rely on commitment and motivation from both the therapist and the client to get the best results. Part of the progress occurs in the consulting room and part is achieved through cognitive reflection or homework.

In common with other therapies it, and therefore I, cannot and do not offer a 100% success rate, or guarantee success. As the client, when you agree to undertake the sessions, you also agree to engage with the process. It is through this commitment in partnership that you will see the best results.

If you have any question, please do not hesitate to contact us at info@helpingkids.co.uk

16 Oct 2017
Sports motivation audio – free download!

Hypnotherapy is a powerful way to access your inner runner, and improve your running skill. Thousands of sports people have recognised the power of their mental state having a positive effect on their sports performance – and you can too.

Motivate yourself to keep going and achieve your goals with this audio download specifically designed for running.

Listen to the audio before you go to bed, or when you have around twenty minutes of uninterrupted time. Do not listen to the recording when doing any dangerous activity like cycling or driving.

Repetition is fundamental, listen to this recording daily for at least three weeks. Some people might need more time to consolidate habits.

You can download the audio for free from the link below. Simply click on the down arrow on the top right corner.If you have any questions or want to know more, please get in touch!

Terms & Conditions

Hypnotherapy is a two-way process. Each client is unique and is treated as such. Clients differ greatly in their response to hypnosis. It is a learned skill. Therefore, each client may achieve a different level of success in attaining their goal. Therapies such as Hypnotherapy, CBT and NLP all rely on commitment and motivation from both the therapist and the client to get the best results. Part of the progress occurs in the consulting room and part is achieved through cognitive reflection or homework.

In common with other therapies it, and therefore I, cannot and do not offer a 100% success rate, or guarantee success. As the client, when you agree to undertake the sessions, you also agree to engage with the process. It is through this commitment in partnership that you will see the best results.

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How life coaching can help you 11 Oct 2017
What is life coaching?

If you’re curious about how life coaching can help you, the chances are that it will be able to impact your life. This is because you’re already embarking on making changes, even just thinking about them, and this is a hugely important step to help those changes become not just thoughts, but significant behavioural actions that will benefit you.

The role of a life coach is to help and empower you to make and achieve your goals. To do my job properly, I have to make myself redundant. You’ll go on to reach your potential and achieve your ambitions. These ambitions can be in any area of life – family, relationships, work, money, health and social. I’ll teach you strategies and techniques that you can use yourself to develop the knowledge, skill, confidence and motivation you need.

Life coaching is a supportive method of helping you to achieve your goals and live the life that you want to. We work together to identify the areas in your life that are causing you distress and the thoughts and actions that might be keeping you stuck. We then plan how to tackle them. Most of the work is around building confidence. Chances are that you already know what you want and the theory of how you might get there – you just need support to put it into practice.

Life coaching isn’t magic, but it can have magical effects. Simply by spending time together and focusing on the task in hand, we are able to make significant changes in a relatively short space of time. I’ll guide you to explore opportunities, help you to make changes and empower you to continue on the journey. Simply put, life coaching will help you by changing your life.

08 Sep 2017
The journey to building exam confidence

‘He is not revising enough,’ says the parent. ‘He says he is, but he is not. I can’t imagine how dreadful Christmas is going to be, with his 11+ start in January!’

I work as a Life Coach for children, and exams are a frequent topic. I’ve had many parents quote me this same script, virtually word by word. Often it is for Year 6 children preparing for common entrance exams or 11+. But in secondary schools, especially highly academic ones, the pressure never lets up.

When children are under pressure, even the basic parts of the day, such as breakfast and bed, are more difficult, and anxieties surface. They experience spontaneous bursts of emotion and behaviour shifts as the exam approaches. Using maturity and confidence, children manage their worries, but it can be difficult. They know what is at stake.

Some children may hide by projecting over-confidence, while others may disengage completely.  This can be tiring and stressful for both children and parents.

One technique that I use to build exam confidence with my young clients is called ‘The Journey.’ It uses visualisation, and should be started about 10 to 14 days before their first exam. In this technique, children rehearse the time before and during the exam in their minds.  This helps them anticipate challenges and manage potential problems.

You can guide your child through ‘The Journey,’ as if you were making a movie together. At key points, ask them ‘How do you feel?’ If they feel over-excited or anxious, stop the technique. Ask them to take a few deep breaths until they are calm again.

Do ‘The Journey’ at night, just before they go to bed. Before starting, check that they are not too tired, and ensure you both agree to do it together.

Here is a script to follow.

Parent: Take a few deep breaths. We are going to time travel to the evening before your exam (provide dates and schools if possible). It is Sunday, you are preparing what you need for your exam. How are you feeling?

Child: I am ok.

Parent: What do you need for the next day and where will you leave it?

Child: I will need my clothes and my pencil case. I will have 3 pencils, sharpener, rubber, and ruler; I will leave everything in my room by the door.

Parent: How are you feeling now?

Child: I am ok.

Parent: Now you go to sleep and wake up at 7am on the day. What do you do?

Child: I wake up and go to the kitchen for breakfast. After breakfast, I go back to my room to get changed.

Parent: How are you feeling now?

Child: I am feeling a bit anxious now. I dont know why.

Parent: Thats fine. Take a few deep breaths and let those worries go.

Child: (After a few minutes): Ok, I am fine now.

Continue the process using key steps of the day: get in the car, reach the school, wait for the doors to open, get into the exam hall.

At every other step, check how the child is feeling. Pay attention to their tone of voice and breathing. If you perceive the slightest sign of anxiety, simply ask them to breath. If the child encounters a second step where they have anxiety, stop the process, even if they haven’t finished their journey.

Every day of practice will help them get more comfortable. The anxiety will reduce in frequency and strength. After 5 to 7 days, most children will go through the full ‘Journey’ without any major worries.

As you go through the process, set them some challenges. For example, your pen is not working, your pencil broke, you have done question 1, 2 and 3 but you can’t figure out question number 4.

You may remember small details as you go along (eg. take a snack with me, or wake up 15 minutes earlier than normal). Write down these ideas and keep the list with you. Review them with your child the next day.

 

Using ‘The Journey,’ your child will visualise and rehearse their key exam day, and learn to prepare for challenges. Most importantly, your child will realise that they can do it because they have done it already in their mind. This grows their confidence in themselves for any situation.

The best people to tell you about the value of the journey is a parent.

‘Our daughter has a tendency to get anxious, overwhelmed and even shut down when faced with challenges. We practised journey visualisation for 10 days before her intense timetable of 5 exams in 8 days-  from packing her pencil case the night before to what she would have for lunch after the exam. She went into every exam focused, calm and happy – and even enjoyed the whole process. She was offered places at all 7 schools.’

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